It’s crazy how after a while, we memorize people. We won’t know when, but one day it’ll hit us that their mannerisms seem almost like clockwork. We start seeing their faces in those of strangers, their laughs echo clear and loud in a sea of people… We know exactly how they loop their l’s and leave that tail on their y’s and how we can read their expressions before they even open their mouths to try to explain. Strange to see their bodies grow rigid during tense moments of fear. Knowing which choice words to say, knowing exactly what to do to make them tick or melt or feel like children again. This ability to understand one another makes humans so incredibly powerful, almost magical or evil, however you want to look at it.
Sometimes, just sometimes… I wish I could undo those memorized mannerisms. Erase the phone numbers and street addresses and birthdays that are hopelessly embedded in the folds of my brain. Forget about the distinct, unique facial expressions and catch phrases that haunt my empty thoughts. Grow blind to the triggers that unlock hidden memories.
But once a person has made such a strong, remarkable impression on you, it’s hard to undo. There’s no real life obliviate curse because we’re built to remember both the sweetest and most bitter parts of life. And you just have to keep on truckin’, you know? Understand that some things are here to stay with us for the rest of our lives, and accept the fact that those memorized mannerisms have shaped us, in some particular way.
However, I still find it all very, very strange..