Yesterday, I had been very upset and couldn’t keep tears from spilling out due to my frustration with people and their power to hurt others so easily with a few simple words. Just as any student in Holy Names who needs to take a little breather to contemplate life, I went out in front of our chapel to watch the sunset (naturally). It was freezing and I was gritting my teeth against the sharp wind but I didn’t care because I was watching the beautiful lights of Lake Merritt and San Francisco unfold as the sun quickly disappeared to grace another land.
Deep in thought and reflection about what recently occurred, I didn’t even bother to turn when someone appeared on the balcony and exclaimed how beautiful the view was. Like many others, I could see from the corner of my eye that he had proceeded to take a snapchat video of the panorama (although phones never ever do our view any justice). It wasn’t until he spoke to me that I looked at him full in the face, and my heart took a double-turn and skipped three beats.
He was drop-dead gorgeous. I felt like I was in a dream– he was a dream. I couldn’t help but laugh a little in my head at the idea that God intended for a beautiful man to appear beside me because He knew it’d snap me out of my melodramatic, melancholy mood.
But so what, we meet good-looking people all the time. There are countless chances to encounter handsome men and beautiful women anywhere, anytime. So what?
I’ll tell you what. When he saw a book in my hand and started asking me what books I like to read, I became a little intrigued. AND THEN he tells me that he likes to read, too, and that like me, he enjoys the classics such as Of Mice and Men and The Odyssey. And that he has read the Harry Potter series, too. At this point, I was pretty stunned and I was beginning to feel nervous and insecure with my baggy sweats and puffy eyes, bare face and unmanageable, unkempt hair.
But he doesn’t stop there, he lingers a little bit longer and asks me about my major and my plans for the future. Tells me that he’s a pro basketball player in Australia, visiting his brother for a little while (while speaking in an irresistible accent that leaves me feeling faint). After another long pause of admiring the beauty of the Bay, he leaves, but not without shaking my hand and introducing his name.
And I probably won’t ever forget it, either. That is my problem– it doesn’t take a lot or very long for me to fall into a reverie and this Piscean heart and mind of mine begins to twist things out of context and constructs a rough sketch of a hope that never sleeps. Once I’m hooked, it’s hard for me to let go, no matter how silly and crazy my ideas are. That sounds ludicrous, I know, and it’s not healthy and I need to stop, but for as long as I can remember, I have always been this way. I have always fallen in love with mere ideas of people and romanticize everything in my head so much to the point that a shrink would probably be very worried if they peered into my amygdala. I hate the way thoughts, dreams, hopes, and wishes conspire to consume me completely and render me weak.
However, something really fantastic did come out of this fateful situation: I am now fully confident that this is going to happen again someday. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve heard “the right person will walk into your life when you least expect it,” and I’ve done my fair share of relaying that same cliche advice to others without actually believing it myself. But my skeptic mind has been proven wrong. Now, I know that the most unexpected things can happen in the weirdest, strangest moments. Even when you’re feeling extremely down in the dumps, a beautiful living sculpture of a god can absolutely, positively suddenly appear. Anything can happen, even for us hopeless romantics.
Positive thoughts. Always.