My coach sent an email today with information regarding our upcoming tennis season for the 2015-2016 school year. Upon scrolling down our tentative match schedule, my heart was slowly sinking: three fall tournaments and a whopping TWENTY-EIGHT regular season matches. In addition to that, we have the PacWest Tournament in Arizona if we qualify… and sadly, there is no Hawaii trip for my very last collegiate career. If there was a silver lining to all the intense workouts and arduous tennis, it was a trip to the beautiful islands; unfortunately, our school budget just won’t allow it. We’re going to be playing a lot more schools, some that I won’t be looking forward to because I am familiar with the coaches and players of those teams… I am not a big fan of playing against people that I am acquainted with, for various reasons, but ultimately because of the pressure that I can’t seem to get a grip of.
Aside from the stressful schedule, we are also getting five new girls to add to our returning five from last year, so that makes ten of us. Ten players trying to fight for six spots… And Coach says that we have to run two miles in under 15:30 in order to qualify to play. To say that I am terrified is an understatement: I am completely and utterly overwrought and nervous about my performance on and off the court. But this fear fuels me…. it motivates me to be in the best shape that I can be.
When my summer break started, I signed up for a gym membership and had a really great routine of going for an hour a day and working on pure cardio. However, that habit waned once I started working at Pieology again. I had to be on my feet for six straight hours or more daily, so naturally my energy level only had room for either tennis or conditioning once a day– and since tournaments were coming up, I had to choose tennis.
I’ve been eating a lot healthier than I’ve ever done in my life. I’ve been drinking a spinach-banana-soymilk smoothie every morning, eating fruits when I can, and cut the carbs during dinner. I haven’t drank boba milk tea at all or eaten fast food (I haven’t had In-N-Out since December… who am I?!). I feel totally guilty after eating a couple chips or even bread. I’ve limited my pizza intake at work even though it’s incredibly tempting. I have shed a few pounds, but it still isn’t enough. From this day on, I’ll be giving up sweets for the whole summer, and this is going to be an onerous feat because I’m a sucker for ice cream and frozen yogurt. And especially with this Southern California heat… ice cream helps me get through the day! But I’ve absolutely got to give it up. I need to eat more veggies, cut the empty carbs and excessive fats, and eat less sodium. I’m making it my goal to lose ten pounds by the end of summer– I want to be the healthiest I’ve ever been in my life for my final season.
I need to focus on myself, big time. The past few days, I’ve been sulking over things that are out of my control and are better left unspoken… I’ve lost sight of my immediate goals and why I’m hustling day-to-day. I need to regain my composure and trust in myself and in my God that everything will fall into place. I’ve got to stop focusing on the things that I don’t have, and instead, delve whole-heartedly into my blessings and live for the moment. I’ll be a lot happier that way.
“Everything will be okay in the end. If it’s not okay, it’s not the end.” -John Lennon