Lately, I’ve been seeing and hearing a lot about unhappy married couples that fight all the time, lost their passion, or would not even choose to be the other’s friend if they weren’t together. I’m not a supporter of divorce because I think it tears families apart in irreparable ways, but I also feel that two people shouldn’t feel forced to be married if they aren’t in love anymore (if they were ever in love at all). I think everybody should have endless opportunities to be with the one who’s most fit for them, and if it means separating or divorcing, sometimes it’s worth all the chaos. I understand that a lot of spouses stay together for the sake of their kids, but I think most people have a place in their hearts that their children couldn’t fill. I do believe that they would eventually understand that their mother or father had to pursue their own happiness, too. As sad as it makes me to think of the mismatched, destroyed marriages that have come to light in my life, those issues encourage me to think about what I hope my own marriage will be like, if that time ever comes.
I need laughter. If I can’t have a partner that can make me drop my guard at any moment and laugh my socks off, I don’t think I could stay happy for the rest of our lives together. There’s just something about being able to feel comfortable to engage in banter and even inappropriate private jokes and finding something to laugh about even if we’re stranded in the middle of nowhere– maybe it’s the reassurance that even when the going gets tough, my spouse and I could lift each other’s spirits up. In that sense, he will be my rock and I, his.
It would also be really nice to have a husband who reminds me of my worth and value to him; someone who does not regret locking me in. Throughout our marriage, we would obviously age and lose a bit of whatever it is that initially attracted the other. However, despite the aging, I’d want to spend the rest of my life with somebody who still finds me beautiful inside and out and makes me feel like I’m something desirable rather than a staple one-dimensional housekeeping, meal-making wife. I think when a couple continually refreshes what it is that brought them together, it’ll lead to a lifetime of fresh love and joy.
Passion. Passion is very, very necessary. I want a husband that will make me tremble with never-ending butterflies that you’d think only high school relationships are capable of. I want a chemistry so wild that it drives us both crazy and being with each other makes us both feel like the luckiest beings on this planet. I believe that passion can save a marriage from falling apart more times than it can tear it, but either way, I think it’s a driving force so strong that it’ll give us a reason to fight for us.
Of course, there are a ton of attributes that go into these three categories, but this is basically it for me. I need laughter, reassurance, and passion. And if all these things are bound by our shared, common love for Him, it really wouldn’t get any better than that. I pray for all the torn marriages in the world and the families that suffer emotionally, mentally, and also physically because of two people that are unhappy being together. Everybody deserves a chance to find their one true love; it won’t be easy, but I do think that it’s possible for everybody to have that peace of heart.