Irrelevant Thoughts

if i woke up  and saw a hand picked bouquet of wildflowers and a cup of coffee on the deck table i would marry whomever put them there.

I found this little gem tucked in my saved drafts from a few months ago. I think it’s kind of cool to see how my writing has evolved since then (hasn’t much).

It is 2:15 am on a Thursday night (or early Friday morning) and I am completely wired. Homemade pizookies with vanilla ice cream does not help an insomniac one bit, and I have tennis practice in six hours. As I lay here, heavy thoughts hit me like an avalanche and my heart wishes for peace. Despite all the positive turn of events in my life, such as adding two awesome English classes after dropping chemistry, that little part of my soul that makes wildflowers grow in my ribcage and butterflies in my stomach repels all things and I wish I could have something that seems so close to me, yet so far. I know I speak in cryptic language, but forgive me– my brain is going 1000 miles an hour right now and if I reveal the true interior of my limbic system it wouldn’t be so good for my image (I kid… Partially. But who isn’t crazy in this world?). Have you ever wished for something so bad, believing that it’s going to be so great for you, but there’s not much that you can do about it and life’s natural processes? What I am saying is, have you ever felt so connected to somebody and you know that being with them would be so swell, but the forces of the universe prevents you from going after it because it wouldn’t be real if it wasn’t organic? One can only do so much. It wouldn’t mean anything if the other’s heart doesn’t beat as fast for you as yours does for him or her. But a person can dream, can’t they? I only wish they knew how great I would be to them and the beauty of the world that I would like for them to see. If only I had the courage to say exactly what I feel… Would that make things easier?

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