For the past month, I have been hooked on HIMYM. Kind of like the whole “happenstance” that I posted about, I feel like every episode that I watch relates to my current mood or thoughts. For example, when I wrote that post, the same night I watched an episode about how everything that happened in that one day was a result of Ted picking up an unlucky penny. Or how I was watching some engagement videos and asking Dabbie who her bridesmaids would be if she got married, and then suddenly I was on Lily and Marshall’s wedding episodes. It’s also kind of like how in every class that I’m in, the subject matters somehow overlap and relate to one another and I feel like all of my professors scheme to come up with some master plot to make us all think a little bit deeper than we would like to.
Anyway, during my Netflix binge this morning (you know it’s bad when you start before the sun goes down), I watched a scene from the last episode of season two of HIMYM that made me stop and watch it over again a few more times because it hit me so hard (see those three images above; yes, I took those photos… pretty neat, huh?). Future Ted said “I think for the most part if you’re really honest with yourself about what you want out of life, life gives it to you.”
I could not have needed to hear this any more than right now. Somewhere in the dreamy part of my mind, I drift off and think about all of the fun things that I’ve enjoyed in my life thus far and forget my realistic goals. I’ve been on cloud nine from the last month that I spent in HNU (the funnest times of my college years) that I lost track of what it is that I’m working for. These are the days that I have to pause a little bit and remind myself what I’ve been working so hard for.
This summer, I’ve already set out to get back into great shape. I’ve never been on such a healthy diet, and I’m pretty sure this has been the most that I have ever eaten vegetables in my life. I plan to work as much as I can and save up for my expenses of the upcoming school year (late night sushi can sure add up…). But on top of that, I really hope to get some match play. The last time that I’ve played in an independent tournament was back in the summer of 2009 and it was so traumatizing to me that I stayed away since then. But I might as well get back into it since it’ll be my final season of tennis, ever!
After I get my Bachelor’s in English, I plan on getting my credentials in grad school (I’m not exactly sure how this whole thing works… but I’ll figure it out). Meanwhile, I’m really set on finding an internship in a local school so that next summer, I’ll be helping out during summer school and gain some teacher-student experience! I already have a taste of what it’s like to teach since I started coaching private and group lessons since my sophomore year of high school, but I’m sure that teaching a bunch of academic classes would be a lot more challenging than teaching a singular subject (tennis).
It would be so amazing if I could settle down in the Bay Area and teach there, but given the high standard of living, I’m not sure I would be able to pay rent and survive financially on my own on a teacher’s salary. That’s why I have to be realistic and expect to be stuck in SoCal for a little while… but I know deep in my heart that I’ll find my way back to the north again, someday.
…And travel. Boy, would I love to travel. That is my biggest dream– to be able to travel the world and write about all the incredible sights I’d see and how they make me feel. It would be the best thing ever to not worry about a single thing in life and just travel to every continent and see the beauty of God’s work. Perhaps after years of teaching, or maybe even before? Who knows where life will take me.
I’ve said what I want to do, but the question is… what is it that I want out of all of that? I’ve got all these goals– graduating student, teacher, world-traveler, journalist. I think the key ingredient in all of these things is love. I want to be able to say that I love my life. I want to love every little thing that I do, even if there are little speed bumps along the way. And I also want to be loved by somebody that I can love back, and who can share in the profoundness of whatever I pour my whole heart into. But all of that companionship will come later on, in time. For now, I’m pretty confident because I can already say that I love my life. I do feel blessed with all the gifts that God has surprised me with, and it’s crazy because there really is no predicting my future. A year ago, I could never have guessed that I’d be here sitting in a brand new home typing this with my brand new laptop, finished an amazing first year in a university in the Bay Area as Female Athlete of the Year, with an iPhone 5S (I really didn’t think I’d break my 5C…), with my hair the color of something between a shimmering gold and bronzey-brown… basically, I would never have been able to predict the transformation that I went through this entire year, and it’s nuts and it’s crazy and it’s so humbling all at once. Because that means my future will be full of surprises as well, and even the bad ones are blessings in disguise.
I am excited for what life has planned for me, and hopefully I’ll be ready and mature enough to accept everything that it gives. I’ll be waiting patiently.
Waking up every single day with a peaceful heart and smiling at the sun creeping through my curtains, knowing exactly who I am and where I’m at and being one hundred percent happy about it… and feeling thankful that God has given me endless opportunities to have a better life…. yup.