Coming to a Close

 I feel like I had to dust the cobwebs off of my keyboard because this new post has been long overdue. As I near the end of my first year in Holy Names, I’ve been trying to do as many activities as I could before I leave my beloved bay. This really is home to me, and it is so weird because going back to SoCal feels like I’m going away to some foreign place for vacation… but here’s what I’ve been up to:

  • I had my Confirmation on April 19th! It was such an emotional and incredible experience and I think that since then, I’ve really begun to grow as a mature individual. I’m extremely thankful to have Allie as my sponsor; she has been supportive of me from the start and it’s just super refreshing to have somebody to go to church with that I can feel comfortable hanging out with on the daily… and it feels pretty good when she tells me that I have also helped her keep her faith strong. I’m grateful to have met my teacher, Buzz, who is a great man that I respect entirely. I don’t think that I have ever met anybody who opens the door for others and lets them go first literally every single time. It’s just not something that I see often, or at all. But anyway, being confirmed is pretty dandy.
  • With a bit of guilt, I ditched one of my classes last week to go to San Francisco with Allie to watch a baseball game at USF against Sacramento State, where we got to see her friend Tyler pitch! It was a really exciting game until the end, and it was kind of cool to see Manny Ramirez’s son. You’d think he’d be playing as some star hitter or something, but he was just on the bench the whole time! Baseball was never interesting to me until Allie got me into it this year– she is still very determined for me to date a baseball player someday. Perhaps someday.
  • On Friday night, I had the wonderful opportunity to go on the Senior Night Tour in SF, where we went bar-hopping to six different venues on a rad party bus. Not only did I meet a lot of new people, but I also feel like that night was probably one of the best that I’ve ever had in HNU. It was just a nice feeling to be able to go to an event without really knowing anybody and ending the night with dancing and laughter with new friends. It definitely gave me more confidence to greet more people in the hallways and strike up conversations with anybody. I do think that this newfound confidence is a great foundation of being a future RA.
  • The following day, I went with a cool bunch to Santa Cruz, and it was exactly what I needed to add to my already-exciting weekend. The beach reminded me way too much of SoCal… I miss Laguna dearly. I also semi-conquered my fear of rollercoasters– I’m still afraid of them, but I rode on the Great Dipper, which is apparently the fifth oldest coaster in the U.S.! The adrenaline hit me like crazy afterwards and I felt like I was ready to take on the world, even though I screamed like a mad cat the entire time (which explains my hoarse voice these past couple of days).
  • On Sunday, I was able to help Latinos Unidos clean up the courtyard again, and as a “treat yo self,” I got milkshakes with three lovely ladies that live on my floor. If you ever get the chance, chocolate banana milkshakes from Sparky’s is where it’s at! And to top off my perfect weekend, we spontaneously had one last Praise & Worship night before Daniel and John leave for Fiji. The turnout for mass and for P&W was bigger than I could have asked for. God is so, so good.
  • There’s this amazing opportunity for me to become a camp counselor in a Christian summer camp for two months, and I just think that it would be a great headstart for my teaching career. However, convincing my parents to allow me to go is the most difficult feat… I’m praying and crossing my fingers that they will open their minds.
  • My grandmother has recovered from pneumonia and is going through dialysis just fine! It’s sad that I cannot be with her during these tough times, but I’m very thankful that the Lord has been watching over her and helping her stay strong.

If I were to look at the person that I was a year ago, I wouldn’t be able to recognize her. She was broken and lost, with a stagnant, narrow mind. I remember how much I limited myself because of another person whose happiness I foolishly regarded as more important than my own. As I have gone through various experiences with more people, I’ve learned that “okay” is never enough. I’ve come to realize that it’s not about how handsome someone is, how much we have in common, how devoted they are to their own faith, how funny our conversations are, or how great someone’s manners are. Sure, any combinations of those qualities are great, but I’ve learned that it’s just not enough. The day that someone gives me their full respect and treats me with genuine care without making me feel like an option– then maybe that’s when I’ll start to believe in all of that mumbo-jumbo again. As for now, I’m saving myself the trouble of getting my heart thrashed because someone only wants to see me on their own terms or takes my friendship for granted. I’ve been doing perfectly fine holding it down on my own and doing things for me… it’s nice to be a little selfish.

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