I used to think that “soul mates” had to be certain types of people. As silly as this may sound, I thought that whoever I ended up with had to have the same “label” as me. For a while I actually believed that my significant other had to be a hopeless romantic just like me, who liked to read books or write poetry or love San Francisco the way that I do. I thought they had to like the same stuff that I did– music, movies, heck.. even colors.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. This is the first time that I am actually deconstructing this out of my mind and it just sounds crazy to think that just because a person has so many similarities with you, they have more potential to become your significant other. I thought that couples didn’t work out because they weren’t compatible because they did not have enough in common.
However, I’m really beginning to realize that all those things don’t matter too much. Tom’s sister from 500 Days of Summer phrases it nicely: “Just because she likes the same bizzaro crap you do doesn’t mean she’s your soul mate.” I think that when we meet somebody that we have so much in common with, it’s easy to get wrapped up in all those similarities and think that they are “perfect” for us or whatever. It’s understandable– most of us make friends with people that are involved in the same hobbies and interests. But I think it’s different when it comes to your special person.
It’s okay if she likes orange but you like blue and he is a beach bum and she is a homebody. It’s perfectly fine if she’s an old soul and he’s a technologically savvy guy and you daydream of two different places. As long as those two people have a mutual respect and appreciation for one another, that’s all that really matters. At this point in my life, I’ve realized that I could care less about whether they like the bay area and stargazing and all the little things that I like– as long as they don’t make me feel weird or bad for being who I am. And on the same tangent, just because they like the same things as I do, it doesn’t mean that they will automatically respect my feelings or listen to what I have to say. All anyone has to be is kind and thoughtful and show me that they’ll love me despite our differences, while embracing the new things that we teach each other. I think being different would also maintain that sense of independence that I’ve grown to know and enjoy… it would just be an added bonus if they are willing to try and do some of my things and vice versa.
I guess the reason why this all hit me was because of a certain gut feeling that I had recently. I was not sure why I felt the way that I did, and strongly at that. To my great surprise, I’ve gotten to know a wonderful person that I’m not certain I would have gotten to know if I didn’t listen to my gut. This experience has taught me that this whole thing doesn’t have to be a cookie-cutter, check-list type of ordeal, but rather something that cannot be explained. Some call it fate. I don’t know what to call it yet, but maybe it’s better that way.