Consistent Constancy

Shame, shouldn't try you, couldn't step by you  And open up more  Shame, shame, shame ...

As I am sitting in the 178 towards El Monte Station on my way home from my last day of work, feelings of nostalgia dawn on me. It has been a year since I’ve last taken Foothill Transit, and I surprised myself that I still know every inch of this bus. Seven years of knowing not to sit by the wheelchair seats unless you want bossy old people to make you move (the same people who cut you in line even though you’ve been waiting for a good twenty minutes before them), the same old expired advertisements for Concerts in the Park and trilingual bus regulations, and of knowing you’ve got the “good” bus if the seats are metallic, not blue. And today, without fail (or is it double the fail, or does the good balance the bad??), the 178 has come in its normal late fashion. Not much has changed. Just as nothing has changed in Pieology and a four-month hiatus did no harm in my pieological instincts. It’s a little trippy to realize how easily things can come back and feel like they or I never left at all. And this got me to think about whether or not people change when they grow older? To answer my own question, no. I do not think people change who they are. If they’ve always been that type of friend that leaves you hanging when something “better” is being offered to them, they will continue to weave in and out of your life through the ages. If someone who was once a sweetheart adapts into a roughneck, hard-faced, black-leather-and-metal-wearing culture, they’re still going to be as sweet as they’ve ever been inside. Just as I have always been a stubborn and impatient person, being exposed to the “Bay Area” way of life won’t change me. I am simply a paradigm of the human person that stays internally constant despite what the external world makes of us. And I think we know it too– we just have too much hope in humanity, with second, third, and fourth chances that we give to those that hurt us. I could live a life of ignorant bliss, or I could lay awake at night with the daunting knowledge of what’s really happening around me… Decisions, decisions.

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